In Love and On Fire - 11
I’d improved since the first time, I didn’t just suddenly thrust in without any prep work.
And it was better than the second time, there was plenty of opportunity to choose the right location.
The theme for next time would have to be waiting until my partner got out of the hotel shower.
I had waited as patiently as I could in the room while he showered, but I couldn’t stand it any more, and so I dragged him out of the bathroom by force. He complained, but he didn’t refuse me. I took that as proof, and drew his lips up to mine.
Riding the mood, I pushed his still-damp body down onto the bed. The springs creaked, and he bounced gently back.
“I’m sorry. With everything– I don’t know if I can wait.”
Finally, I was going to look down on a body that was all mine. The shapely vertical fold of his belly button, the projections of his pelvic bone, right down to that tangle of black pubic hair, just looking at it made me proud. It was already our third time, but I had no confidence in my ability to control myself.
But then I thought about how rough the first time had been, and how I’d hurt him, and I couldn’t just go in all of a sudden like I had then. Although, the truth was, I wanted to force my way into that body right that instant.
“That’s a scary face,” Niimori muttered in surprise – I couldn’t hide my rough breathing – and then reached his palm out to my cheek.
I clutched his hand and bit his fingertips. Niimori let out a huff and I bit down on those red lips of his like I was going to steal the long breath he was letting out. I didn’t bite down hard enough to hurt him, and I enjoyed the elasticity of his lips. He touched his tongue to my lips.
When I stuck my tongue out to meet his, and wrapped mine around his, he reached out his arm and pulled me closer.
One of us moaned. Niimori’s kisses were delicious. It wasn’t just the tangling of tongues, he slid his tongue around my mouth so bravely, like he was going to conquer it. I let him do what he wanted for a while, swallowed all that saliva, and then went back for more.
He lazily drank me in again and again, and the saliva started spilling from the corners of his mouth.
The heat from our heavy sighs mixed together, and when I laid myself down on top of his naked body, I knew our mutual lust was stretched to its limit.
When I removed the towel from around my hips and we touched directly, Niimori let out a moan.
“It’s okay if I hold you, isn’t it?”
It was a moronic question, and Niimori grinned at me. “You’re such a girl, you want me to do you?” he asked.
I had a hard time imagining Niimori embracing me, and even if he did want to hold me down and thrust into me, I wasn’t necessarily looking for it. Although, if he really did want it, maybe it could be okay–
“It’s alright. Seeing how great you feel when you’re inside me ain’t all bad.”
He caressed my head like he was petting a dog– there there, don’t worry.
Thus given permission, I put my tongue back in his mouth – it was even hotter than mine – and reached my fingers inside his body.
I had to prepare him properly this time, I hastily admonished myself, but when I crept my fingertips inside that tight hole, Niimori twisted his body and broke our kiss. When I looked down, his lips were damp and shining.
“Lube’s over there.”
I lifted my face to see Niimori taking a condom and another, similarly-sized packet from the bedside.
He took the second packet and ripped open the vinyl packaging. The transparent gel instantly overflowed and wrapped around his long fingers. For some reason, I found the scene incredibly interesting.
“Niimori… I want to see you do it yourself.”
I voiced the lusty thoughts running around my head just as they were, and the man in front of me twisted his expression.
“What…? Why would I, you’re here.”
“Just to get yourself ready. I’ll watch how you do it, and put it to use later.”
Niimori’s lips slowly parted, so I quickly plugged them up with my own.
He’d been about to complain. It was the way he’d opened his mouth. I knew it on instinct, like before, when we would understand each other’s intentions on a call just from eye contact.
The stiffness gradually went out of his lips, but when I separated myself from them, he cursed me, just like I thought he would. “Pervert” I really had no interest in masochism, but being scolded in such a blurry tone did have a certain effect on my hips.
“I don’t want to hear that from the guy who put his foot on my cock.”
The same cock that had been straining so much it had hurt for a little while now. There was no hiding anything, so Niimori knew it, too. There was nothing to be embarrassed about though, Niimori’s was just as swollen, like it wanted to be touched.
When I lightly brushed the underside of his cock with my fingertips, Niimori’s breath got strange and chaotic, and his knee that I’d pushed aside twisted into the sheets like he was trying to scratch something. The tips of his toes curled into tight balls.
“I wanna see,” I said. “Come on, please.”
Jeez, I’m pretty desperate, I thought with a composed corner of my brain, but in the real world, my eyes were glued to Niimori’s body.
I asked again, gently stroking him, and he reluctantly reached his own finger inside his body.
He lifted his hips up, rubbing the gel evenly on himself with little caresses above his hole.
He was laying face up, so I couldn’t see very well, and I really wanted him to turn over for me, doggy-style, but I had a hunch he’d stop what he was doing, and just when I’d gotten him to do it, so I made up for what I couldn’t see with my imagination. Even if I couldn’t see it, I knew thanks to the sticky popping noises, that Niimori was moving his fingers inside his body.
He let out another moan, and I realized I was brushing up against him. My throat had gone painfully dry listening to the noises his finger was making, and my head was fuzzy.
“Where do you touch, when you do it alone?” I asked.
“I have a lot of partners, other than you.”
“Are you kidding, have you been doing it with that pro-wrestler again?”
I grabbed Niimori’s legs and forced them open. I’d never asked whether he’d ever introduced that guy to Tsuno or not. In any event, having to wonder if Niimori had been face to face with that jerk again was no fun, especially at a time like this.
“I have… not…”
Niimori pulled his finger out of himself and put it back in again, along with a second finger.
I stretched my finger out to where he was touching too, and his rim was soft and loose – thanks to the gel?
“Really?” I asked. I couldn’t take it any longer, I nuzzled the tip of my cock against him. Pre-cum was already dripping out of me at this sensational scene.
“Real– ly. Ah– it–”
“Did you do it with anybody else?”
“I didn– didn’t– ’cause you ask strange questions–”
It wasn’t just Niimori’s fingers, mine were inside him now too. I felt the narrow passageway inside him tighten up. Then it wriggled like he was inviting me in. It was the sexiest thing. I felt like Niimori’s hole was reconstructing itself into an instrument for connecting with me.
“Is this okay, ‘s it enough?”
Even if he says no, I thought, I’ll end up forcing my way in, I just can’t take it any more. But Niimori didn’t refuse or consent. He wrapped his arms around my neck.
“Whatever… You’re awful at it anyway, do whatever you want–”
I twisted my finger inside him, and Niimori’s breathing stopped mid-sentence.
“Don’t say whatever or I’m bad at it. I think we can admit it’s good at this point.”
I grabbed his hips and pulled them towards me. The arms and the back weren’t supposed to be erogenous zones, but just from putting my hands around him, just from touching each other, it felt so great – I’d never known this feeling when I was a virgin. Sex wasn’t just about your lower half, it was something you did with your entire body, and I’d learned that from being touched by Niimori. Just his shallow sighs were amazing, I didn’t need my imagination for anything.
“What about when you refused my invitation?” Niimori said.
“I– Are you kidding, that was serious?”
“Do you invite people in as a joke? And a clumsy idiot like you?”
I wanted to refute the charges – who was it who’d apparently enjoyed himself enough to ejaculate every single time he’d been with this clumsy idiot? – but I held my tongue with a grunt. “Okay then, teach me.”
“I have to tell you everything, what feels good?” he said slowly, and his body drank me in. I would never get used to the sensation of being sucked in. But watching Niimori’s shoulders shaking and his throat bending back, I thought maybe he felt the same. Maybe he still wasn’t used to me thrusting into him this way.
“Does it hurt?”
Niimori barely managed a nod, so I waited until he’d calmed down.
After a while, he heaved a breathy sigh as if giving me permission, and I slowly started moving.
Maybe it was because we’d used that gel, but I felt like the rubbing noises were even louder than before. Wrenching open that tight space without much moisture that second time had been good, but it was nice this time too, I had plenty of room.
Besides, Niimori seemed to be getting into it, too, this third time, because sometimes when I thrust in, his hole would open up and then clamp down tight. The intense, irregular tightening felt so good, and I moaned without really meaning to. His flesh twined around me like it was a separate living thing.
He moaned and grunted underneath me.
“You like it in front more than inside?” I asked. “Hey, where does it feel good?” I wanted some retaliation for being called clumsy, and he dug his claws into my shoulder.
I gently pulled him up towards me, and the response was amazing, so I dug into the same place again, but Niimori shook his head.
Wondering how he managed to have such willpower at a time like this, I grabbed his head and kissed the corner of his eye.
The place where he was taking me in clamped down. I pushed my hips into him, aiming for a spot just this side of his body, and ejaculate spilled out of his cock. I didn’t stop my rhythm, and kept rubbing him kind of rough with one hand.
“I– out–” he said in a tiny little voice.
Certainly he was so swollen in my hand that it wasn’t funny, nevermind that he’d just climaxed.
But I wanted to do it with my body, not my hand, and I removed my fingers. I took the opportunity to lift myself up – I’d been covering up the whole show thus far – and I bent backwards, our bodies still connected. I could see every part of him, the place where we were connected; his male parts, face up and shaking; both nipples; his red face.
In that position, I could enjoy the sexual scenery. I put my hands behind myself and pushed in greedily with just the strength of my hips.
“This– I can’t–” Nimori let out a half-sob. “Again– just from my ass– I can’t–”
Keeping my big thing inside him, I reached my fingers towards that red, swollen place. It was kind of warm.
“Mm– Ugh– Adachi, fingers–”
I tried putting my finger in as well as my cock, but it was so tight there wasn’t any room. Niimori didn’t seem to like my grinding against his rim with my fingertips – his hips shook and he slipped his body up and away from me. He was separating from me little by little, so I grabbed his hips and dragged him back down in a single stroke. His feet jumped.
“Ee– You– Remember–”
“I’ll never forget, you’re so hot. I’m going to burn it into my eyes, so I can remember it when we can’t meet.”
“That’s not– Oh, enough– The front too– Like before– Your hand–”
“But if I do that, you’ll come, won’t you? I want to enjoy this a little bit longer.”
But I was at my limit, too. The inside of my head was all static, and I wanted to let go of all this heat so bad I couldn’t stand it.
But it would be so disappointing if it was just over.
“Give me– a break– I wanna cum– Hurry–” Niimori said, lifting himself up a bit and shaking his hips up and down, touching himself lightly. His tiny ass bounced up and down on the sheets. He even opened his legs and moved himself – I couldn’t believe I was seeing such a wretchedly lewd side of Niimori. I hadn’t thought it possible to drive him this far into a corner.
“Hey, inside, it doesn’t hurt?” I asked, putting my hand on top of Niimori and touching his cock like he’d wanted. When I touched the head of that obedient organ with the flat part of my fingers, he immediately started crying tears of joy.
“Mm, mm, it hurts– but I don’t know– my stomach– tingling–”
The way he chattered with nothing but the essentials was like when he was drunk. It was so cute, and I’d never been good at waiting anyway, so I pushed my hips into him, still rubbing his cock.
I saw Niimori shoot something cloudy out of the tip of his cock, and I crept my tongue towards his nipples, which were pointed straight up in front of my eyes.
When I bit down, his hips jumped. I wanted to pour out inside of him, and I thrust so hard I swear our bones were rubbing together.
“–Ah… I… –Wa–it– deep–”
I kept going – I knew he’d climaxed, but I wasn’t capable of stopping any more – and Niimori tried to scoot away, shaking. I knew he hated the pleasure I was giving him, but I was way too aroused and there was nothing I could do. I was almost crushing his body as he resisted, but not hard enough, and when I asked if I could cum inside him, Niimori answered no in between rough breaths.
I pulled his hips close and shot off inside him.
He’s gonna be pissed later, I thought, even as I lustily, devotedly gushed out into his deepest places. Maybe he even felt me coming, because his thighs shook and convulsed where we touched.
“Ha– ugh, you– obnoxious.”
He glanced at me, still red in the face, and I said again that I was sorry, but my apology wasn’t exactly heart-felt.
As some minimal recompense, I patted Niimori’s cock, which had started to get vaguely hard again.
The instant I touched him, the place that was still holding me tightened again, and Niimori clawed my back. Leaving a place that wriggled so wonderfully seemed like a waste, but I slipped out of him all the same. Niimori endured it, but as I wriggled past his rim and our connection severed, he heaved the sexiest sigh.
“Thank god this happened now,” I said. I got a light glare from Niimori, who still hadn’t even agreed to my shooting off inside him.
“What are you even talking about?”
“If I’d known you could look like this when we were trainees, I absolutely would have jumped you in the dorms. So I’m glad it didn’t happen until now.”
In the dorms, we all slept spread out on futons in a tatami room. We were packed in from the center without regards for seniority or length of service, so I occasionally ended up next to Niimori. I was even hornier then than I was these days, if I’d had to sleep next to someone as sexy as this, I absolutely would have laid my hands on him. Now that I thought about it, Niimori had to endure that room full of good-looking guys.
But then I thought maybe he had laid his hands on one or two of them, and I felt like that wasn’t such fun after all.
“You think I would have let you, idiot,” Niimori said in between rough breaths. “I didn’t even like you yet back then, you laid your hands on me I would’ve killed you.”
I unconsciously got hard again.
Niimori turned a suspicious glare in my direction, and I muttered, “You like me?”
In that instant, Niimori’s entire face went redder than it had ever been. He hid his face behind his arm and tried to avoid my gaze.
“It’s not like that now either,” he said.
“Yes it is. Come on, say it one more time.”
“Ha! Not with that tone, you idiot.”
“You introduced me to your father, why won’t you say it?”
“You wouldn’t quit, so I had no choice but to go out with you. It’s not like that.”
“So, the second time, you let me touch you because you liked me?”
“I said it’s not like that, you idiot. Listen, will you.”
I had thought his going out with me was because I’d earned his trust back in the mall fire. Maybe I was just being a virgin, but I had thought that was why the sex was so great.
“That day you took me with you to the cram school, when you invited me, that wasn’t because of our deal.”
… was what I wanted to say, but I stopped myself. He would just deny it anyway. So I gave up asking, and grabbed the arm he was hiding his face behind. He resisted, but I tore it away, and was shot through with his damp eyes and bright red face.
I only had to look at him to know the answer. I had been more than satisfied by our connection a moment ago, but I felt even better now, and my own composure collapsed. I knew I must have looked love-struck by that sloppy, sexy face of his, but I had no intention of hiding it.
“Well, you don’t have to say you like me, say my name instead.”
Niimori seemed to realize that this option was less awful than laying out all his thoughts for me, and he said my name in a whisper, his face still red.
“Kousuke.” It was the same echo that had remained in my ears. I wasn’t mistaken when I thought I’d heard him that day, I thought, drinking in those lips, overjoyed, and I kissed the place directly above his heart, too.
“I love you,” I confessed over and over, feeling our quickening pulses through our lips. Hearing it, I thought again how glad I was that I’d been able to rescue him. Maybe next time I saw a victim face up on the floor I wouldn’t crumble into a panic again.
When I put my skin on his, Niimori called out my name again. “Kousuke.”
“You came inside me, it feels gross.”
I got scolded, and lifted myself off of him. A cloudy liquid started spilling out from where I’d poured it into him. But above that, Niimori had gotten hard again, and his genitals were quivering. Not very honest, is he, I thought, reaching my fingers to that place inside him.
I wanted to pester him into telling me clearly that he wanted it. I wanted to hear him tell me he loved me over and over again. But for now, the way he called my name so sweetly – “Kousuke,” – that was enough.
“Remember your promise. Next time, don’t betray me,” he said in a deadly earnest voice, as I pressed again into that warm, narrow place.
“I understand. I’ll never betray you again.”
Niimori’s face went peaceful, and he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close, bringing my lips just to his.
“You call my name again, too,” he whispered, his voice hazy.
Just about the same time those words reached me, I got kicked, and fell out of bed. There was a thin rug on the floor, which until a few weeks ago had been sticky with some kind of juice, but it still hurt when you fell on it.
“Your voice woke me up, why’d you kick me, too?”
I yelled my dissatisfied complaint at him without really meaning to, and then looked at my watch, which I’d forgotten to take off.
There was still plenty of time to shower, change, and even eat before we had to get back to work. For a minute, I wondered if he’d woken me up so I could go back to my own house for once, but then he complained right back at me – “I’m starving.” – and I realized he’d woken me up so he could put me to work in his kitchen.
He was so cute yesterday, too, I thought. Niimori immediately changed his clothes and waited on the bed for me to make his food.
“Getting a bit selfish, aren’t we?” I asked.
“Shut up, pervert. Tying people up.”
I realized Niimori was looking in my direction with those cold eyes.
Our class reunion had been the previous evening, and we’d gone out drinking with some friends after that. We came back home to Niimori’s place, and the minute we got inside, I got greedy and grabbed him without bothering to ask. Niimori kept telling me to wait and that he was getting in the bath, but I ripped his clothes off him. Along the way, he really started to resist, so I put him in those handcuffs he’d used on me before. After I’d pushed my way inside, he’d given up or something, and assertively wrapped his legs around me, but I’d definitely been too rough, even given that we were both pretty drunk. On the other hand, when I remembered our first time, I didn’t feel the need to apologize.
Looking at the bed and thinking about all those things, I unconsciously got hard. Then I noticed the headboard was broken.
“Oh, uh… look.”
“Yeah, you’re gonna fix that with some Bondo or something later.”
“Is that okay? On a million-yen headboard?”
“It was like fifty grand, tops. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve broken it already.”
“You tricked me,” I muttered.
“Food first,” I was told.
“I don’t think so. You told me a million yen.”
“And so you sat there and got licked like an adult. If I hadn’t said it, you would’ve broken the damn thing, and it would’ve been all over. Then we would never have ended up like this, so,” Niimori said, unconcerned, and I pouted. I made it sound like my fault, when he said it like that.
But in the single month we’d been going out, I’d used those things on him once – last night – while Niimori had used them on me plenty of times. And the one time I did it, I get kicked, and mocked, and talked to like this?
“If you’re having regrets, maybe we should go back to the way we were before?”
I’d learned a lot of things I’d never known about Niimori in the past few months. He was gay, Harikawa was his blood relative, his body was the height of pleasure, he was extremely pessimistic about romantic love. The reason he seemed so self-centered at first glance, the reason he’d only ever gone out with guys he didn’t care if he lost, seemed to be directly attributable to his father dying on the line and his mother dying of an illness when he was little. When I considered it like that, I could understand his negative thinking.
How many times had he said this, that if I wanted to break up blah blah, if I wanted to end it so and so. He was always half-smiling when he said it, but he never looked in my direction.
“Is it even possible at this late stage to go back to the way we were before? I know I have no intention of doing so.”
Niimori had lost so many people who were important to him when he was young that his fear of being alone was deeply ingrained. So at times like this, I answered casually, and didn’t make it seem like a big deal, and put an end to the ridiculous conversation. I knew he was trying to believe in me. My credibility as a colleague had been reinstated, but my credibility as a lover was still a bit thin. After all, we’d only been going out one month. And we’d be together the rest of our lives, come what may, so it was fine if he came to things gradually.
Besides, indiscreet topics seemed to make the usually haughty Niimori somehow uneasy – although that was when he was at his cutest – so I felt like it was okay to leave it alone for a while.
He’d stood up, so I pulled him close and put my lips on his cheek. Niimori took it without complaining.
I’d utterly devoured him last night, but I was starting to get a little hot again. I sucked on his tongue and enjoyed the faint lingering taste of coffee, but he pushed on my shoulders. “Cut it out.”
I wasn’t satisfied, but if we went much further, we’d end up being late, so I reluctantly separated myself from him.
After I rinsed the sweat off myself, I made breakfast according to his demands, and when that was done, I immediately cleaned the filthy apartment. Mornings when we were on duty always passed like this, the only difference was whether we were at his place or mine.
When we left the apartment, Niimori tossed me the key like he always did. I caught it in my palm, locked the door, and we started out.
“Here you go,” I said as we walked down the narrow condo hallway, but Niimori acted like he was annoyed.
“It’s just obnoxious having to hand it back and forth all the time, you keep it.” He walked ahead of me and didn’t look back.
He was the same when he said something negative, maybe, but he never looked in my direction when he said anything positive, ever.
He could suggest anything body-related without any hesitation, but he wasn’t very good with stuff like this. I put the key away, staring at his red ears.
Unable to wait until the end of our shift the following day, I pulled him from behind into a blind corner of the staircase and kissed him – and got myself a light smack to ward me off. I knew we had a lot to work on in terms of expressing our love, but I was overjoyed he’d given me his key. I was still grinning as we headed into work.
“Later then,” I said.
“Don’t fuck up.”
There was no way Niimori’s hateful smile could have changed, but I thought it was so cute I could have been buried with it.
I should’ve kissed him more, I thought, even if he would’ve hit me. I headed for the changing room.
It was a different room from the one Niimori used near the control room, but he’d apparently nearly ended up embarrassing himself when he’d changed in here the other day, so maybe it was for the best.
I turned at a loud shout behind me, and found Tsuno looking at me with his eyes like I’d been turned to embers.
I followed his line of sight to my shoulders, and realized there were scratch marks all around my shoulder blades.
“Lord, same-sex relations are all kinds of harsh, aren’t they. This has got to qualify as domestic violence.”
My back had been unrestrainedly scratched all to hell, and it did kinda hurt, but not as much as it looked.
Besides, he only scratched me when he couldn’t keep himself together any longer. Knowing that, I couldn’t quite blame him.
“And please stop grinning about it. I can’t even believe it’s you and Niimori. I know they say reality is stranger than fiction, but this goes way beyond strange. Not that I thought it would last this long. Listen, if there’s ever a blizzard worse than when you broke up, worse than when Niimori moved to the command center, please just quit.”
Tsuno was as rude and unrestrained as ever. “The guy’s so cute,” I told him, “he couldn’t even throw away a good luck charm I got from somebody else. It’s not going to be ended on my account, at least.” I suddenly felt like I wanted to do it again.
But I never got as far as being refused, because Harikawa came into the changing room late. “Don’t you give Adachi any strange ideas,” he said to Tsuno. “If they did break up at this point, the poor guy’d never go out with anybody else as long as he lived. And if that happened, it’d be your ass taking responsibility.” He leaned on Tsuno – such an inappropriate threat coming from that gentle face.
Niimori had been the one to tell Harikawa we were going out, but he couldn’t have known Harikawa was going to threaten Tsuno like this. If he ever found out, he’d demand to know how Tsuno had learned about us in the first place, and discover that it’d been me who spilled the beans. Then it would be my ass, in fact, taking responsibility.
Our positions seemed set for the time being at least, but my partner being my partner, I couldn’t be caught unprepared. He’d been intending to top me that first time, to begin with.
“I’m not looking to break up no matter what Tsuno says to me,” I said hurriedly, concerned for Tsuno’s trachea, which was being rapidly tapped by an arm wrapped around his neck from behind. Harikawa finally released him. Tsuno let his breath out in huffs and puffs.
“Seriously, Adachi,” Harikawa said, “you take care of that guy.”
“Overprotective much,” Tsuno muttered, and got himself leaned on again.
I was not inclined to throw him another lifeboat. He’d have to learn from experience on this one.
As I watched Tsuno from a safe distance and grinned, Harikawa tied him up with a dagger-sharp voice. “My cute little cousin’s unrequited love finally became reality, so don’t mess with it.”
When I unintentionally echoed Tsuno’s block-headed tone, Harikawa hurried to correct himself. “You didn’t know? Well. Nevermind. Forget all about it.” He rushed deeper into the changing room.
We watched him go, and Tsuno muttered in amazement. “You’re kidding.”
“Why were you so surprised?”
“This is worse than the mafia.”
Tsuno’s chin dropped to his chest, and he frowned. “You guys are all creepy. I gotta get a new job,” he muttered. I stepped on his foot with all the strength I could muster.
And in the end, I couldn’t concentrate on work at all that day – all I could think about was Niimori.
When I considered that maybe the reason he’d taken all those shots at me, the reason he’d set that first trap– When I thought that it could possibly have all been because he liked me, my face went red, even in the middle of a call.
Then I had to deal with our normally severe commander worrying after my health.
I got word from Niimori to head over to my own apartment after my shift was over the next day.
“Your face is bright red,” he said the instant he saw me. “You look even more like an idiot than usual.”
He was fully loaded for hatefulness, as usual, with the corners of his mouth curled up to tease me.
Looking at that face, I tried to recall all our past exchanges, but there wasn’t even one episode that could make me believe he’d had a one-sided crush on me. There were, however, plenty that could make me believe the opposite.
First off, if he’d like me the whole time, why the hell hadn’t he just meekly nodded when I confessed?
Was he afraid that I’d change my mind after he agreed? But if he was afraid of something like that, he wouldn’t have pushed me down by force that first time, right? I thought it over, but I didn’t quite get it.
“Hey, how much did you tell Harikawa about us?”
I knew they were relatives, but I was kind of jealous – the captain knew everything about Niimori that I didn’t.
My question was tinged with that jealousy, but Niimori’s face turned as red as ever. “What did you hear?” he asked, scowling. Looking at that face, I suddenly wanted to see if I could trick him into revealing the truth.
“He said you’ve liked me since we were trainees,” I said, figuring he was going to deny it, but he made a face like he’d just bitten into a bug.
“What else?” he asked. Apparently, it was true.
“Did I ever lie?”
My lover made a strangely frustrated face, and the slackness I’d felt in my jaw since the day before turned into a smile again. Niimori was always deceiving me, I hardly ever got a chance to fire back like this.
“Since when?” I asked. “And aren’t you the one who said you didn’t like me when we were in the dorms? And you’ve been going out with other guys until just recently. Even when we were on duty together, you always seemed to hate me.”
I asked my questions in rapid-fire succession, and Niimori got a haughty attitude. “Are you interested in any answers?” he asked.
But his cheeks and even his ears were stained red, and his usual cool composure was a long way off.
“That was because you couldn’t trust me yet?”
I got closer to him and put my arms loosely around his hips so we were face to face. He didn’t fight it, but that wasn’t to say he cooperated in the embrace. He wouldn’t look at me, so I peered at him until he was forced to meet my gaze, and he puffed out a breath. “It’s embarrassing,” he said, voicing his true motives in a resigned tone.
“I’ve told you everything straight out, right from the beginning, but you have all these secrets,” I said, “that’s not fair.”
“It’s not like I coerced you into telling me, you just… Tsuno exposed them all anyway. Everything I didn’t even want to know, he told me.”
He must have meant my preference in girls, the incident with the married lady, the incident with Ishiwatari, stuff like that. He sulked, and I touched those pouty lips like they were an invitation. I kept kissing him again and again until finally his arms wrapped around the back of my neck.
“Maybe if we do a lot of even more embarrassing stuff, all that won’t seem too bad.”
I pressed our bodies together harder – we were glued to each other now – and Niimori suddenly grinned. “You’re awfully cocky for a virgin. Give it a shot if you think you can do it,” he said in a mocking tone.
And so he got what he deserved.
I was watching those lips forming around a lovely moan as we held each other on the bed afterwards, when I happened to remember that Niimori and I had once been called oil and fire.
“You don’t have to say it now,” I told him, burying myself in that searing flesh, “but you keep teaching me, until we die.”
Niimori looked up at me with moistened eyes. “The only person you’ve ever had experience with is me, and it only ever will be. It’s just pathetic, Kousuke, of course I’ll have to teach you.”
Instead of an answer, Niimori wrapped his little finger tight around mine.
It might have started with a single touch, but the fire would burn forever.
I’d never let go of his hand, not until the moment we both turned to ashes.
Comments for chapter "11"
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